Last Lap Around the Track

Well hello there week 30! Only 10 more weeks to go before welcoming our baby to this world…and it can’t go by fast enough. Of course I do not want the baby to come right now because he needs to bake in the oven as long as possible, but I am SO over being pregnant. Who in their right mind actually enjoys being pregnant? Now, I just feel uncomfortable with random aches and pains everywhere, fatigue is relentless, the swamp ass is getting WORSE and I want to eat everything I see on TV.

So anyway, I’ve been talking to other pregnant women/new moms/seasoned mommies and listening to their stories/advice has been really helpful! However, the one thing I am still a little anxious about is the labor and delivery. I feel like no matter how much you read about/listen to labor stories, yours is always going to be different. I stopped reading pregnancy books in my first trimester because some of the stuff kinda freaked me out, especially the parts about labor. I REALLY don’t like reading up on labor, but I was navigating www.babycenter.com and came across an interesting article about how to prevent tearing during labor (yes, for you men reading this, I am referring to tearing down there)…the secret to that is…*drum roll please*…MASSAGING YOUR GRUNDLE (aka perineum aka that area of skin between your vagina and anus).  First of all, I would like to know who discovered this little gem. I mean you have to make a serious effort to be like, “Hey, I think I should try massaging that area between my vagina and anus and see if that will help me during labor.” Second of all, YOU ARE MASSAGING THAT AREA BETWEEN YOUR VAGINA AND ANUS! WHO DOES THAT?? Needless to say, I will leave that up to someone else to test that theory. I can only pray that my labor will be as easy as my friend who just had her baby this Tuesday (omg, he is so cute and so little and eek, I am in love) – she got to the hospital at 2am and had the baby by 8:30am AND this was her first! Lucky girl!

So anyway, 10 weeks to go…all the preggos at church are starting to deliver and I am falling in love with each and every one of them. I am so so so anxious to meet our little Ezra…if I love everyone else’s babies so much, I mean, how much will I love my own??

To conclude, here are some little gems to hold you over until my next post:

week 27!

Week 29!

TOP 5 THINGS I WILL NOT MISS ABOUT BEING PREGNANT:
1. Dimples – and I don’t mean those cute face dimples some people are blessed with…I mean orange peel like cellulite dimples on my butt, my thighs, my arms…EVERYWHERE. At 30 weeks I am up 23 pounds…if I gain the 1 lb/week that my doctor predicted, I will be up 33 pounds which puts me on the higher end of the healthy weight gain range (25 – 35). The weight thing doesn’t bother me (that much) because yes, you are supposed to gain weight, but I’m pretty sure cellulite doesn’t go away…I am hoping though, the arm dimpling is just because my arms seem to have gained the most weight. I can’t bear to leave the house without a cardigan/covering up my arms ! I know, SO vain. But I’ve always had long and lanky limbs (fact: a boy in high school used to call me orangutan in Polish – DICK, he probably had a crush on me). Once that Houston heat and humidity hits, I don’t know how I’ll be able to hide these huge meat sticks hanging off my shoulders. On the other hand, the butt and thigh dimples, well – not like I’m into wearing daisy dukes or short shorts so I can live and all the sitting at a desk job really contributed to dimpling over the years – so pregnancy is not all to blame. But now when I sit Indian style, my legs look like overstuffed sausages ready to explode out of their casing. Ugh, pregnancy.
2. Discharge – I think I will leave this at that. You preggos know what I’m talking about. Blech. I will definitely not miss this part of pregnancy AT ALL.
3. Aches and pains – Because of the growing belly (I think), I am having a relapse of some nerve pain from an old snowboarding injury (I hit a tree, taking the full impact with my left hip – luckily nothing broke, strong like ox). So anyway, I dunno if my sciatic nerve is strained because of the bulging belly or if I have permanent nerve damage from that snowboarding accident, but my body definitely is feeling out of whack. My tailbone feels like it’s either broken or bruised – it’s such a weird feeling, feels uncomfortable to sit for too long and it hurts whenever I sit down or get up from a sitting position. Sometimes, if I walk around for more than a couple hours, I get sharp pains in my left hip – to the point, I need to limp. My pubic bone also gets sharp pains from time to time, as if someone has taken a chisel and hammer to that bone. AWESOME! Not.
4. Suffering through allergies – Not a big fan of taking any sort of medicine, but my life depended on functioning normally during allergy season with the help of Zyrtec. When you’re pregnant, your list of approved medications is quite limited and unfortunately, all allergy medication is banned. Allergy season has just started in Houston…and remember what I said in my last entry about sneezing and peeing? Womp womp.
5. Misplacing my phone – I lose my phone about 10 times a day. No joke…I put it down and I can’t remember where. Half the time, my phone is on silent so calling it doesn’t even help…I have to case the house and try to remember where I might have put it down last. At least I haven’t put it in the refrigerator or something…it’s usually in the crack of the couch, or on the bed or in the bathroom…it just takes me awhile to remember. I’m sure pregnancy brain has something to with this, but if I have a mischievous toddler, I may lose my phone more often because he wants to play with it and hide it from mommy. But that’s okay 🙂