Just a quick follow-up on my last post with a Top 5…don’t worry, I have some fresh new material coming up in the next week or so…for those familiar with my struggle with postpartum depression and also of late, sleep training the little one, you’re gonna love it.
TOP 5 THINGS I LEARNED/WISHED I HAD
KNOWN ABOUT LABOR, DELIVERY AND BEYOND
1. Contractions – If you haven’t experienced them, there is just no possible way to describe them. I know I have a high pain tolerance, but I have never felt pain like that in my entire life. It was so bad that while it’s happening, the world around you dims away and you can’t focus on anything but the pain. I don’t even know how to describe the experience, like having your lower body in a vice and have it clamp down on your belly, paralyzing your whole being. And then relief. And then you kind of forget about how much it hurt until the next one…and the next one…so on and so forth. GET THE EPIDURAL. It’s a miracle drug, trust me you’ll want it. Well, you don’t HAVE to but I could not do it, (and luckily, I will never have to experience contractions/vaginal birth as I will be having scheduled c-sections – EFF the VBAC, I’ve already been cut open so might as well keep my vajayjay in tact) so for the mamas who had natural birth experiences/waited ’til the last moment possible to get the epidural – y’all are beasts! Major MAJOR props…For any guy reading this, the pain is something along the lines of getting punched in the balls. And then just as you’re recovering, you get punched again. Now imagine that happening for hours on end followed by a watermelon exiting your body through an impossibly small hole. YEP, now go kiss your wives/girlfriends/baby mamas.
2. Constipation – so yes, constipation/poop problems just seems to be a reoccurring theme with pregnancy. Well, let me tell you, it doesn’t stop until you have THE poo following delivery. I’m not sure exactly what it is but women from both camps (natural and c-sections) experience THE WORST constipation following delivery. For those who delivery naturally, your nether regions experience quite the trauma – from excessive pressure to perineal tears (I dare you to click the link). I can only imagine how uncomfortable and painful it must be to have to make a number 2, I’ve heard it’s not fun at all. As for those who have c-sections, I’m not sure why we experience such horrible constipation. Maybe from all the meds they pump into your body during and after delivery…I have no clue. However, I do know that it felt like I was trying to birth a giant 50 lb boulder made of granite. And once I was done, I had to make sure my intestines weren’t in the toilet. Yea, it was that bad. I also made the mistake of taking Dulcolax to try and coax the waste out of my body…but you know how you need to get rid of the plug first? Well after that granite boulder was evacuated, water with glass shards followed. So awful. So so so awful. Like having the type of poo you get after eating a lot of spicy food but 100x worse. Never again will I take Dulcolax.
3. Visitors – not to sound ungrateful, but when I have baby number 2, I do not want any guests coming to visit me. Okay, family is obviously a yes, but maybe have guests at certain hours that I set aside, but ONLY during those hours OR just have them come visit once I’m discharged and at home. Between taking care of a newborn, nurses checking up on me every hour, and visitors coming throughout the day, I found it impossible to get the rest my body and brain were screaming for. Whenever I was ready to catch some shut eye, the baby needed to be fed…or the nurse would come in to check my vitals…or a friend would come to coo over the baby. It was a lot for a new mom. Maybe it will be different with the second. I don’t know…but for me it was very overwhelming and utterly exhausting. Sadly, not as many visitors came to visit after I was discharged which would’ve been amazing and incredibly helpful. Now I know what to offer new moms/moms with newborns…go to their home and watch the baby so they can shower/eat/get some sleep. It’s of course different for everyone so just ask the new mama if she’s okay with hospital visitors 🙂
4. BLOATING – bloating took on a whole new meaning for me. Remember how I was poking fun at Kim K’s feet during pregnancy? Well, it looked like someone had chopped off my feet and sewed her’s on. My Shrek feet could probably be attributed to being on an IV for 48 some odd hours, but wow, I did not know that my body could bloat like that. Took almost a full month for the bloat to go away. I was worried that maybe my blood pressure was too high and actually went to the doctor to have her check and make sure everything was fine! Please take a look at my lovely cankles below – see I’m not exaggerating!
5. Breastfeeding – this will be a short one because I can write MULTIPLE entries on the woes and joys of breastfeeding (and I will!) but let me just tell you this, get ready new mamas. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% a breastfeeding advocate (and I will admit, I might even be a snob about it) and I highly encourage mothers-to-be to read Breastfeeding Made Simple by Nancy Mohrbacher (the book encouraged me to keep going as I was contemplating whether to quit or supplement with formula). Not only is it a necessity for your baby, but breastfeeding your child is also a beautiful bonding experience. But like most everything else associated with post partum experiences, breastfeeding is a BITCH. Cracked and bloody nipples, milk blebs, nipple ulcers, mastitis, engorgement…sounds like a party you want to crash, right? NOT!
The learning curve as a new mother is exponential and no matter how much you “study” beforehand, it won’t prepare you for the real deal. I mean, you’ll have an idea of what to expect, but really, every baby is different so everyone’s experience is very different and nothing that a book can truly prepare you for. Honestly, other than the breastfeeding book, I probably wouldn’t recommend reading anything else. Unless there’s a book that warns you about postpartum constipation, that would be a fun read. I would recommend that but otherwise it’s just all a journey.
Beyond 40 Weeks 